Aed jokes
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"
He says, "What's it to ya?"
So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"
Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?
HO, HO, HO!
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.