Aed jokes
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
Think like a proton--stay positive!
What is blue and wiggling on my floor?
A baby in a bag.
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because he doesn’t know where home is.