Aed jokes

What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?

At least the mountain has two hills.

What do super fancy music conductors wear?

A Louis baton.

Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

Yo mama so stupid, she bought a solar powered flashlight.

A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.

The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"

What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?

Sex worker.

If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?

The orphan wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!

Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."

My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"

Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.

You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.

Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?

They're still hanging.

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:

"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"