Aed jokes
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?
The "curry muncher 2000."
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?
Dear Orphans,
I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?
When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩