Aed jokes
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.
What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.