Aed jokes
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
Yo mama so dumb, she asked how much a free sample was.
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
We must start a propaganda for baked beans.
Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.
Why did the orphan have an empty bowl?
Because they already ate their supper.
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
What was going through the head of a 9/11 victim on the 88th floor?
The 89th floor.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.