Aed jokes

I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.

What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?

Put them in a barking lot!

When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

There is a dark alley. Who do you call?

Batman.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.

What's the definition of a bastard?

Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.

Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?

A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"

What do you call a funny drink?

Punch!

Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!

I saw a little boy begging for money.

I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents!"

Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.

A: Is that why I never see you sweat?

What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?

Hippo-POT-amus!

An orphan went on a game show.

The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

Gf: Babe, do you love me?

Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.

Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...

Bf: Exactly.

Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.