Aed jokes
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
After 6 months of lockdown,
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?
Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.