Aed jokes
*Shotguns in a nutshell*
2B: MUST.
4B: ADD.
6B: MORE.
12B: *B A R R E L S*
*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
Yo, hairline is a distraction to my barber because he wanna fix it so bad (because of how bad it looks).
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.
Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.
Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.
The answer is 0.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.