Aed jokes

What do you call a whale on a beach?

Banked.

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.

I saw my sister sucking a big toe.

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

The first orphan joke be like: What does the orphan not have?

A family.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

What’s the best form of contraception?

Being a soccer fan.

What's an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang, because it comes back.

I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.

Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?

Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.

Yo mama so ugly a rapist wouldn't even touch her with a barge pole.

Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!

What did the magician do as a trick in his show?

Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!

What do you call a bored robot?

A “sigh”-borg.

Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.

(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?

(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.

(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!

(Kid) Quit what?

(Bus Driver) Living.

(Kid) But it was a joke!

(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.

(Kid) Ok.

(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!

So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."

Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?

A. System of a Down's syndrome.

What's the difference between Autism and Gender?

Autism is on a spectrum.