Aed jokes
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.
What do you call a potato with a pp?
A dictator.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.
I'm playing a game of HANGMAN. Is there an 'S' or a 'C'?
MIKE PEN__E??
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
Rangers are a joke.
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."
I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.
I saw my sister sucking a big toe.
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.