Aed jokes
Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favorite teacher.
One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas.
The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas?"
Johnny replied, "Sorry, miss, my rabbit died."
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!
I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."