Aed jokes
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.