Aed jokes
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
She was only a potato chip manufacturer's daughter--but she was Frito-Lay!
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.