Aed jokes

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?

He spills coffee on his iPad.

What do you call a person whose heart stopped?

Dead.

Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.

What does a skeleton tile his roof with?

Shin-gles!

Why did the skeleton want a friend?

Because she was feeling bonely.

What do you call a skeleton snake?

A rattler!

What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.

When does a skeleton laugh?

When someone tickles his funny bone!

My brother truly is a numbskull.

What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?

Spareribs!

I've done a ton of work today.

A SKELE-ton of work!

A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

Why did the Down syndrome person cross the road? Because there was a zebra crossing!

I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

What's the difference between a bird and a fly?

A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!

Wanna hear a joke?

My life.

What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?

A Mexican't.

On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.