Aed jokes
When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?
She borrows her husband's last name.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
What did A say to Y?
"You cannot be alpha like me." :)
Y said, "Why? (Y)"
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
What do you call a black hole?
Butt hole.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What do you call a boy in your mom?
Your dad.
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.