Aed jokes
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?
You better not lay a finger on her!
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
Hahahahahahah I'm dying.
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕