Aed jokes
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.
What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Your mom is fat, and that's a joke.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
I am a reverse rapper because I put bars in my mouth.
So, my mom has hit me with a flip flop when I was bad, and when I cheated on my girl, right when the other girl came in, a flip flop came flying in the room.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.