Aed jokes
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."
😂😂😂😂
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
What do a blonde and a cow have in common?
They're both fat af.
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.