Aed jokes
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
To cover his butt-quack.
Your mom is so stupid, she thought eating ass was cannibalism.
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
My dad is like a unicorn.
He's never here. :c
They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie.
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.