Aed jokes
One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.
Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The end.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.
What country did Indians invent?
Curry-a.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
What problems might a blind child run into?
A wall.
Types "I'm not a robot" on computer.
Son, we are geniuses!
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
Imagine calling a dragon "fucking dewi."
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
What's a zig zag and made of wood?
Stephen's coffin.