Aed jokes
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
What did the beachgoers in North Carolina say when there was a tsunami?
Nothing, they died.
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?
Because I am a bully!
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
You know a baby bottle looks kinda like a penis... Also sausage and hotdogs too.
Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
Q: What do you call a funny midget?
A: Kevin
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.