Advice jokes
Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
If you're white and you're racist to someone, don't do anything.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
Run, bestie, run!
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
What did the turtle tell the man? To keep being 5G7T4IPK24O[\]TWERGWREWGRGR.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?
"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."
My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.