Accident jokes
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
Two Australians walk into a bar. They run into the ceiling fan immediately.
I'm Gay.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Why did Johnny drop his pencil?
To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
Last week I found out my toaster is waterproof.
What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"