Accident jokes
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
I'm Gay.
Where did Alice go during the explosion?
Everywhere.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
Memes
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
Last week I found out my toaster is waterproof.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Why did Johnny drop his pencil?
To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.