Accident jokes
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
Two Australians walk into a bar. They run into the ceiling fan immediately.
Memes
I'm Gay.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
Last week I found out my toaster is waterproof.
Why did Johnny drop his pencil?
To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"