Accident jokes
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.