Accident jokes
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Bro, the airplanes that crashed, darn it, they got MVP!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after.
(And you thought this would be a joke.)
I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"
There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.
I pushed the kid in a wheelchair into fire... I called him "HOT WHEELS".
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
Fall
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.