Worst Jokes Ever
How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?
The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.
Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?
I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered.
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
I bet you love prostate exams because you live things up your ass.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.