Worst Jokes Ever

Question: What did the sun say to the little star?

Answer: Are you my SUN?

What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

They don’t cook because they love eating out.

What do you say after committing incest?

No Chromo!

My sexlife xddddddddd

SPOILER ALERT...

I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!

Closer kin, deeper in!

The "W" in African stands for water.

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

My favorite toast for parties:

May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.

I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.

You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.

I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."

My pee pee fell off.

Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.

Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.

Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.

Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.

A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."

"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.

The boy answered, "It's Michelle."

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"

I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."

What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.