Worst Jokes Ever

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"

How does Hellen Keller drive?

With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.

My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.

What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.

Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!

Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

Then: You want free candy?

Now: You want free Wi-Fi?

What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

How do Chinese people play in Spy?

They can't.

Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!

Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.

What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?

Chromozoned.

What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.

Where do pedophiles go hunting?

Elementary schools.

Old man goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"

you.