Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house? A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital? Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
Why did the skeleton not rob the bank? He did not have the guts!
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.
When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.