Worst Jokes Ever
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
What did the Indian say to the fat man?
"Curry up!"
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.” He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.
When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,
Then the speed bump starts screaming.
Why didn't Sally get home from work?
She got hit by a bus.
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.
So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?
The blond because she had to ask for directions.