Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.