Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."
12312312344567890
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.
My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
Calculate my dick, virgins!