Worst Jokes Ever
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
My will to live.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
What were Steven Hawking's last words?
Error 404 File Not Found.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
One day a boy asks his grandfather for some money, and the grandpa says, “Well, can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy replied, “No.” So the grandpa says, “Okay,” and leaves it at that and walks off.
A few years later, the boy asks his grandfather for some money again, and his grandfather once again asks, “Can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy proudly says, “Yes, it can.” To which the grandpa says, “Good, now go fuck yourself.”
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."