Worst Jokes Ever
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: "How far are we from land?"
Captain: "Two miles."
Passenger: "Which direction?"
Captain: "Down."
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.