Worst Jokes Ever

Potato.

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

What do you call a Mexican Baptism?

Bean Dip.

I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."

What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?

My boner.

Are you guys alright?

If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)

The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.

I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.

My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.

Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.

Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.

If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.

I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

What do you call a priest that is a furry?

A Catholic.

A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."

One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.