Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the man become stupid?
Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian.
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
What does it take to paint a wall red?
Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."