Worst Jokes Ever
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"'There is no God.' - Stephen Hawking (2011)
'There is no Stephen Hawking.' - God (2018)"
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.
Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
I like my women like my family, they’re related.