Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Ring

    • How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?

    She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

  • 5

    • Phone

    • "Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"

    "Who was in the race?"

    "The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"

  • 2

    • Blow job

    • I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

    ...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

    I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

  • 1

    • Vineyard

    • The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.

    The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.

    The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”

    The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”

  • 8

    • Gun

    • I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”

  • 0