Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”

“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.

My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.