ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
Worst Jokes Ever
Your hairline is so far gone that you could build a runway.
Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
What shows do orphans dream of?
Full House or Fuller House.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
It's good that Canada doesn't have the death sentence for treason anymore.
Danielle Smith is so fucking fat she'd get stuck in the gallows.
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.
I got sad today.
