Worst Jokes Ever
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand π meets the little π€.
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?
campaign contribution to the Republican Party.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait.
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words: βThe fuck you doing with that knife?β
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
I don't like the word "gun".
Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?
A kill streak.