Worst Jokes Ever
Russia.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
Want to hear a joke about prostitution? Never mind, it's whoreable.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to stop the Cold War with a heater.
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."
Period blood is like KFC, because it's finger-licking good!
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
What's life if you don't have one...
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.