Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.

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  • What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

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  • What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

    I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

    My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

    It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

    A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"

    Jack and Jill went up the Jill so Jack could lick Jill's fanny, but Jack had a shock with a mouthful of cock because was actually a tranny.

    I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till I realized it is a family business.

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