Worst Jokes Ever
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
Why did Rhydon get an orphan...
Rhydon deez nuts!
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
Who the f**k disliked my "yo mama" jokes? Comment now, b*tch!
Imagine Africans during a solar eclipse...
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
What is black and long?
A line at KFC.
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.