Worst Jokes Ever
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.
I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.
The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"
My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
What do you call 6 gay men going to war?
Rainbow 6 Siege.
Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.
Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my dick!
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
Dark humor is like a dad - not everyone gets it.
Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"
Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
A girl asked me to eat her out one time... so I put her in the oven.
I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.