Worst Jokes Ever

I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.

7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!

Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?

"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."

What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?

A 797.

What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?

Yung Flung Dung.

What did the South Tower ask the North Tower?

"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."

"What type of book is it?"

"An autobiography."

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?

Draggin' these balls across your face.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

What does 9 and 36 add up to?

A life in prison.

Why did Rhydon get an orphan...

Rhydon deez nuts!

What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?

They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.

What's the fastest thing on earth?

An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.

Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?

'Cause they're the ones making the toys.

Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.

Who the f**k disliked my "yo mama" jokes? Comment now, b*tch!