Worst Jokes Ever

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?

He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.

Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.

So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."

"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."

Watching the 9/11 documentaries, just watching a kill cam.

I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.

So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

How does Hitler tie his shoes?

In tiny Knotsies.

I got a PS5 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.

What do you call a flying Aboriginal?

Boong 747.

Click the 👍 if you hate school.

Why did the emo leave the bar?

Because it was happy hour.

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...

What game did Al-Qaeda play with the Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001? Jenga.

What do McDonald's and priests have in common?

They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.

One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.

Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.

Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?

Because every time they scan, it scans twice.

You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."