Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

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A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

How do you start a dance party?

Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.

  • 2

    • My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.

    He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.

    A stone’s throw away, in fact.

    Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?

    Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

    Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"

    Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"

    Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"

  • 1
  • 1

    • Commander: "Fire a warning shot."

    Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."

    Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."

    Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*

    Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

  • 1

    • Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...

    Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"

    Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"

    My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.

  • 2

    • What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)

  • 8

    • One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."