Worst Jokes Ever

What's the fastest thing on earth?

An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.

Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?

'Cause they're the ones making the toys.

Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.

Who the f**k disliked my "yo mama" jokes? Comment now, b*tch!

Imagine Africans during a solar eclipse...

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

What is black and long?

A line at KFC.

What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.

You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.

My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.

Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.

Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?

Because homing missiles don't work on them.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

Family photo.

What’s a downy's favorite song? Down Under.

Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

Why do people make fun of you jokes in worst jokes ever? Because it is called "worst jokes ever."

How do you bury a prostitute?

In a Y-shaped coffin.