What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
Worst Jokes Ever
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
