Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
How much did the haulla-cost?
Why can't a t-rex clap?
Because it's dead.
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
I hate snow. It's white and on my land.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
Would you like to try African food?
They would too.
It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
I like my women like I like my wine, twelve years old, in the basement, and locked up.
