Worst Jokes Ever
"Hee hee touch my pp."
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.
If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.
It isn't any of those if it's suicide.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
I started an emo salsa band. We're called Hispanic at the Disco.
What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol