Worst Jokes Ever
Hi, I'm Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are hee/hee.
What do you call a black coconut?
A CoonConut.
When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What are Michael Jackson’s pronouns? He/heeeeeee.
A gay rapist saves a female rape victim, then rapes the rapist.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.