Worst Jokes Ever
What is a priest's favorite song?
-- Magic Flute in A minor.
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
What is a pedophile's favorite song?
Jerking off in A minor.
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?
At least Hitler actually did something.
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An ethnic orgy.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he'd be fine and it'd only take a few minutes.
Lying bastard never came out.