12 jokes
What did the 19-year-old say to the 12-year-old?
Wanna play Mario Smash Bros without Mario or his bros?
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.
A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”
The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?
A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.
Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.
A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.
First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.
It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."
He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.
She walks away and says ok.
The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...
Beethoven to Chris Doemges: "What instrument do you play outside in the Arctic at -12 degrees Celsius?"
Doemges: "Probably the shiver..."
What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?
You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
My step mom walked in naked once. I sky rocketed that day. I was 12.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!