12 jokes

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.

His wife was up waiting for him.

"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.

He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."

Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?

Because then, it would be a foot.

Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.

DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!

Lancaster: Are you sure about that?

DB: huh?

Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!

DB: WHAT!?

Penta Barrel: I got 5!

DB: *insert becoming uncanny*

Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!

The others: HOW!?

*and that's how an argument started.*

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!

STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:

Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?

Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.

Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?

My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"

Comment down below, does your grandma do this?

My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."

How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.

He said, "Best surprise ever!"

My step mom walked in naked once. I sky rocketed that day. I was 12.

Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.

Sister: No, I won't stop.

Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.

Sister: What? You will see when I post it.

Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?

Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.

What's 12 inches long and begins with a p?

A shit.

Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?