New 12 Jokes

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.

This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.

The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.

The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”

The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”

My girlfriend called me pedophile today.

Big word for a 12-year-old.

Accounting Chapter 12: Long-term Liabilities (FULL TEXT)

How is a priest like a wristwatch?

They both start at 12.

I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.

The last entry was about 12 years old.

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣

A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.

His wife was up waiting for him.

"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.

He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.

Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.

What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"

Water, tastes that one tap in school:

A tier water at 3 am.

S tier.

12 pm water f tier.

1, 2 look at your shoes.

3, 4 they look better than yours.

5, 6 you have no friends.

7, 8 you look like a ape.

9, 10 don't you like men?

11, 12 hell naw I like females.

What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?

You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.

Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.

So this is how I got divorced.

On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!

A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”

The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”