12 jokes
What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”
The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.