12 jokes
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
Water, tastes that one tap in school:
A tier water at 3 am.
S tier.
12 pm water f tier.
What did the 19-year-old say to the 12-year-old?
Wanna play Mario Smash Bros without Mario or his bros?
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!
Lancaster: Are you sure about that?
DB: huh?
Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!
DB: WHAT!?
Penta Barrel: I got 5!
DB: *insert becoming uncanny*
Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!
The others: HOW!?
*and that's how an argument started.*
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?
Because then, it would be a foot.
Why did I buy the orphan an iPhone 12? Because he couldn't get home.
I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.
Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
What is an orphan's first phone?
An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?
It has no home button :D
One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!