Worst Jokes Ever

You people are sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! None of these are funny. Sick sick sick!!!!!!!

Potato.

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

What do you call a Mexican Baptism?

Bean Dip.

I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."

The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.

I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.

My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.

I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

What do you call a priest that is a furry?

A Catholic.

How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?

The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?

I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered.

What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!

How do you execute a retard?

The Electric Wheelchair.

So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”

I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”