Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."