Worst Jokes Ever
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
Why were the octopi sad?
Ugly 2d big tittied girls kept fucking him idk im a horny 14 year old.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
What's similar between a priest and McDonald's?
They both shove their meat in between 10 year old buns.
Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.
What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.
Tails: Hey, Sonic, do you need payback? Oh, you are not a fat hedgehog, you are a snail.
Sonic: But I'm a fat snail because Dr. Eggman turned me into a snail.
Tails: I don't trust you, fat snail.
Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.
"North America, best America."
You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?
Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?
You: Uhhhhhhh
Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.
You: Thank God.
Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...
You: *faints*
Ratio.