Worst Jokes Ever
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
This page is shocking.
What's wrong with you people?
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"