Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.
I apologize for my grammar.
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
Why are Americans so dumb?
Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
Why are Nepalese 🇳🇵 bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their 👑.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno?
Because they can't get a green card.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."
What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?
Milkshake.
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
Why were the octopi sad?
Ugly 2d big tittied girls kept fucking him idk im a horny 14 year old.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
What's similar between a priest and McDonald's?
They both shove their meat in between 10 year old buns.