Worst Jokes Ever

I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.

Who would win?

The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,

Or one horny Henry?

What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?

- A baseball bat.

Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

Oh, neither did he.

Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.

What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!

Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.

A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.

A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?

A: They tend to crash and burn.

What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

A stab wound.

What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?

Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.

What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?

Little boys' pants half off.

Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.

What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."

Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.