Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a juice box because it said concentrate.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
Down syndrome and brownies.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
Yo mama so fat, she wears Orion's belt!
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.