Worst Jokes Ever
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
What do incest families do on Halloween?
Pumpkin.
A priest walks into a wine store.
"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
The only time rape jokes are funny is never.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?
European.
What are you on your way to the bathroom?
Russian.
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"