Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?

Asking for a friend.

Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?

  • 7
  • A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”

    You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?

    Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

    What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

    One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

  • 5
  • I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.

    Onions was a good dog.

    What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.

  • 7
  • Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.

    What is the order of finish?

    1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.

    2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.

    3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.

  • 6
  • Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉

    What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

    Domi-don't-knows...