Worst Jokes Ever
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
Therapist: So what brought you here today?
Wife: He's too literal.
Therapist: And you, sir?
Husband: My truck.
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
The Nazis.
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Uder the sheets.
Under the sheeeets. Me and your mother making your brother.
Under the sheets. Do do do do dododoodoooddododoodo.
SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?
Well, probably their kneecaps.
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."