Worst Jokes Ever

What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?

They both came from behind and crushed them.

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.

I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.

What is Mexico's favorite sport? Cross country.

Why did Ronald McDonald go to KFC to destroy them?

My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:

When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*

Bully: "Shut up and give me your money, otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin."

Boy: "Haha, I am not a virgin anymore."

Bully: "Haha, nice joke."

Boy: "If you don't believe then ask your sister or brother."

Bully: "Hah, I don't have any sibling."

Boy: "Will just wait for 9 months then u will know."

My mum's a carrot.

I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut itself.

What did the mountain say to the helicopter? Kobee.

Foxy the fox was a careless fox. She didn't care about her friend Froggy.

Froggy was a careful frog. One day, Froggy decided to teach the fox a lesson.

Foxy was in her bed sleeping when Froggy made her room an entire mess. She got up, and then her mother berated her for not cleaning her room. From now on, she is a careful fox.

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,

Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.

What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?

He became spotless!!!

I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.

Why is he sooo dam fineee?

So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.

When rejected:

That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.

Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.

Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?

Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.

Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.

Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.

Me: ...

Help me...