Worst Jokes Ever
Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
What goes in and takes a while to come out?
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.
Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
Hubble just spotted something huge coming out of Uranus.
Uh oh, stinky!
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOF!"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents!"
It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Cause comes near my Willy.
A boy and his mother survived a car crash.
The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."
What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.