Worst Jokes Ever
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.
What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?
I don't know! I don't care!
Michael Jackson.
You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?
Covid.
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, I buttfucked Scooby Doo.
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
Me and your mom in the bed.