Yours jokes

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?

You're a copycat from Ballarat You smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.

Song by John Rizk

Walk The Dinosaur-By watersharky Productions and Was(Not Was)-

Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

It was a night like this forty million years ago I lit a cigarette, picked up a monkey skull to go The sun was spitting fire, the sky was blue as ice I felt a little tired, so I watched Miami Vice And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur

I met you in a cave, you were painting buffalo I said I'd be your slave, follow wherever you go That night we split a rattlesnake and danced beneath the stars You fell asleep, I stayed awake and watched the passing cars And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur

One night I dreamed of New York You and I roasting blue pork In the Statue of Liberty's torch Elvis landed in a rocket ship Healed a couple of leapers and disappeared But where was his beard?

A shadow from the sky much too big to be a bird A screaming crashing noise louder than I've ever heard It looked like two big silver trees that somehow learned to soar Suddenly a summer breeze and a mighty lion's roar I killed the dinosaur, I killed the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur

Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?

Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.

Your Da.

Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?

That's what happened to my dog.

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.

So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.

You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."

Them: What's on your arm?

Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)

Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.

A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.

First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.

It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."

He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.

She walks away and says ok.

The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"

Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.

Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.

Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?

Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.

Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.

Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.

Me: ...

Is your mom a virgin?

Mine is.

How am I alive?

You tell me.

A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."