Yours jokes

Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.

What does the depressed person say to the happy person?

"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."

Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.

Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.

A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"

Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"

The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"

Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!

An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.

Cow A: I slept with your sister!

Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!

All the other cows:

:O

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."

The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.

Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.

Genie: Your wish is granted.

Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"

I like your mom naked.

A friend texts to another:

"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"

The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"

To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."

One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.

The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"

The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."