Yours jokes
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
What flowers are on your face?
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.