Yours jokes

Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.

Son: Why?

Father: You’ll need them there.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"

Because he needs to pick your balls.

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?

Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.

What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.

What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"

Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.

I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.