You're jokes
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
You're gay if you see this.
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.
"Deznuts up your ass."
POV: Orphans rule the world.
God said, "I'm your dad," then kills himself.
The orphan: Waaaaaa!
If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mother!
Mother who?
It's your mother.
Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!
You're so hot when your girlfriend tries to suck your cock, it burns her mouth.
Your head looks like a joke.
How do you know your baby is dead?
It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.
Your hairline is so big, it was used as a highway.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!