You're jokes
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Your hairline is so far back I need binoculars to see it!
Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Beans, your mum is fat!
Gays, blacks, and your maw, mate.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
What's something red that is bad for your teeth?
A brick.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
My friend saw your forehead and realized you're gay.
My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!
Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.
You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?
Son: Dad, please don't.
Dad: Exactly.
What color is your Bugatti?
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them, "Where are your parents?" Then she cried harder, so I left the orphanage.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"