You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
Human Measuring Tape
Categories
Explanation
Experiment
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. This joke is saying you're so dang tall, you could literally be used as a measuring tape. Get it? It's like, instead of using inches and centimeters, people would just use *you* to measure stuff. You're about as sharp as a marble, so I hope that clears it up.